英語で日記を書こう
英語日記第二弾です。
前回と同様、添削の最後にChatGTPに自分が書いた英文を10点満点で評価してもらっています。
添削用のChatGTPプロンプト
Please correct the following blog post to correct English. Substantial changes to the content are forbidden. However, please make appropriate word, expression and grammatical corrections.
Provide examples of the corrections in English and an explanation of every single sentence.
Finally, please rate the English level of this blog post on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest score.
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#2 A snoring roommate next bed
A snoring roommate next bed
After coming back to my accommodation from my workplace at noon, I usually spend time in lying on coach at the share area.
Do you know why?
This is because I am suffering from my roommate's snoring! He snores every night the whole time he sleeps. It is terrible. Moreover, he sometimes takes cannabis outside the house and fills its smell in the room. Cannabis is regal in Canada, but I disgust its smell, like wild animal's pee.
One time he apologized me to snore, as he notice he makes noise, the situation have never changed and still frustrate me.
The impact of not sleeping well
As you know, constantly not sleeping well impacts people to make into bad health both mentally and physically. I couldn't concentrate my job and daily tasks. And I even felt depression. While high-quality sleep makes your life better, not enough time to sleep brings you illness.
So, I decided to change the accommodation, it was still just 7 days after moving in.
After quietly leaving, I moved in new accommodation and my new roommate was a good guy from Ukraine. He doesn't snore and keep the room tidy. I finally got relaxed.
Shareroom issue
I have stayed in shareroom like a dormitory or a guesthouse when traveling abroad by myself. I sometimes get in trouble about my roommates, but I didn't think it was such big problems, because it was short stays. If you stay at a share room, however, you should take it seriously.
Having long time under unpleasant pressure makes you negative and even intense anxiety of depression.
I realized that we should make living quality a top of our priority.
REVISION by Chat GTP
Rating: 5/10
Explanation: The blog post demonstrates a basic understanding of English with correct sentence structures in some parts. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and vocabulary misuse that affect readability and clarity. The ideas are clear, but the expression needs improvement to achieve a more natural and fluent style.
A Snoring Roommate in the Next Bed
After coming back to my accommodation from work at noon, I usually spend time lying on the couch in the shared area.
・from workplace →from work が一般的
- spend A doing: 一般的で、日常会話でよく使われる表現。特定の行為に時間やお金を費やすことをシンプルに表現します。
- spend A in doing: よりフォーマルで、時間や努力を強調する場合に使われることがありますが、やや堅い表現です。
Do you know why?
It's because I'm suffering from my roommate's snoring!
- It's because: よりカジュアルで、会話の中で自然に使われます。短い理由を述べるのに適しています。
- This is because: よりフォーマルで、理由を強調したいときや、前の文脈を受けて説明を加えるときに使われます。
He snores every night, the entire time he sleeps. It's terrible.
the whole time→その間ずっと
the entire time→完全性を強調
この場合どっちが適切かは不明！
Moreover, he sometimes smokes cannabis outside the house, and the smell fills the room.
タバコなど吸う系は smoke。
the samell fills the room が簡潔
Cannabis is legal in Canada, but I find its smell disgusting, like wild animal urine.
disgust→ ~を嫌な気持ちにさせる
The smell disgusts me.
I find its smell disgusting.
この形が正しい。
find OC OをCだと思う。
- Urine: フォーマルで、医学的・科学的な文脈で使用される。
- Pee: カジュアルで、日常会話や子供との会話などで使われるインフォーマルな表現。
The impact of not sleeping well
One time, he apologized to me for snoring as he noticed the noise he makes, but the situation has never changed and still frustrates me.
・apologize to me for ~.
私に〜について謝る。
・主語と動詞の一致(subject-verb agreement)に注意！
As you know, consistently not sleeping well impacts a person's health, both mentally and physically.
・constantly (物事が頻発している様子)頻繁に起こると
・consistently (同じ状況が長時間続いている様子)ずっと、継続して
impacts a person's health の方が簡潔
I couldn't concentrate on my job or daily tasks.
concentrate on ~. ~に集中する
jobとtaskは似ているためandよりor
And I even felt depressed.
depress 意気消沈させる、憂鬱にさせる
→feel depressed
「憂鬱にさせられる」のだからdepressed
While high-quality sleep improves your life, not getting enough sleep can lead to illness.
get enough sleep 十分な睡眠をとること
動詞使って名詞句を作る感覚！
lead 〜につながる
→最も一般的
bring 〜をもたらす
→少し堅いイメージ。時間の不足を強調する時に用いる
So, I decided to change my accommodation just 7 days after moving in.
just 7 days after moving in.
→副詞句というやつ。使い方に慣れる！
After quietly leaving, I moved into a new place, and my new roommate is a good guy from Ukraine.
move in
→「引越し」の意味で使われるが具体的な場所の名前や種類が言及されていない場合に使われることが多い
move into
→「引越し」含め、具体的な場所や建物に入る、という意味で使われる。intoの後には具体的な場所や名称がくる。
He doesn't snore and keeps the room tidy. I finally feel relaxed.
get relaxedは文法的には正しいが不自然(awkward)。
feel relaxedがnatural。
もしくは I finally relaxed. I finally get some relaxation. が良い。
Shared room issues
I have stayed in shared rooms like dormitories or guesthouses when travelling abroad by myself.
I sometimes had trouble with my roommates, but I didn't think it was such a big problem because the stays were short.
the stays were short
何を主語に置くか意識！
If you're staying in a shared room for a longer period, you should take it seriously.
If you stay~よりも
If you're staying~ にした方が、
「これから滞在する予定なら」「これから滞在するつもりなら」というニュアンスに適している。
If you stay〜 「もし(今)滞在しているなら」という習慣的なニュアンスになる。
for longer period を追加した方が先述した「短い滞在だったから気にならなかった」ということとの比較ができる。
Living under unpleasant pressure for a long time can make you negative and even cause intense anxiety or depression.
Having a long time under~ →文法的に不自然。
「長時間にわたってその状態にある」という意味では
Living under ~ for a long time. が適切
anxiety (n)心配・不安
depression (n)意気消沈、憂鬱
or で繋ぐのが正しい
I realized that we should make the quality of our living environment a top priority.
the quality of our living environmentが自然な言い方
わざわざour は加えなくても伝わる。a top priority が簡潔
