どんな人生を生きれば幸せなのでしょうか？
山を登りながら、考えました。
#4 What Is the Ideal LIFE For Me?
While I was hiking on Mt.Cascade with my friends, I was thinking about my life after going back to my country.
What is the ideal life for me?
What do I want to do?
During my stay in Canada, I am talking to myself every single day, and gradually, it's getting clear to see.
How to feel self-esteem
There are two ways that I can feel self-esteem.
Firstly, I'm on the way improving myself. As it is normal for people in 20s, to keep improving my ability makes me happy. It is also necessary to set a goal to feel that way and keep myself motivated. I quit my previous job as a veterinarian because I didn't find my goal in that field, like what kind of man I wanted to be in 5 years.
Second, I didn't notice before coming to Canada, I like to be with my friends or girlfriend. While working holiday, I usually be alone. Of course, I have friends, but they left me and went back to their countries. I eventually realized, at this age, that I like people. Friends, my family and other people surrounded me are crucial for me to feel happy.
What is your priority?
I believe that setting priority is most important in our lives. If you make your life better, you will take it seriously.
My thoughts are based on my past reflection. Whether that's losing huge money caused by one wrong decision that made me into financial problem. Whether that's working too hard to deteriorate the other life time.
My priority is to make me happy and the people around me happy as well. Aloness made me happy up to a certain level but living with my guys takes me sky. I have to remember it whole my life even if I get a concussion of my brain.
REVISION by Chat GTP
Rating of English Level: 5/10
Explanation of Rating: The blog post demonstrates a reasonable level of comprehension and basic structure but contains numerous grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and unclear expressions. The ideas are clear, but the execution needs refinement to improve fluency, idiomatic usage, and formal tone.
#4 What Is the Ideal LIFE For Me?
While I was hiking on Mt. Cascade with my friends, I was thinking about my life after returning to my country.
What is the ideal life for me?
What do I want to do?
During my stay in Canada, I have engaged in self-talk every single day, and gradually, things are becoming clearer.
self-talk は名詞。engage in self-talk が適切
How to Build Self-Esteem
feel self-esteemは不自然。
build self-esteemを使う
There are two ways I can build mu self-esteem.
Firstly, I'm on my way to developing myself. Focusing on self-improvement makes me happy as it is common for people in their 20s.
I'm on my way to developing myself. 私は自己成長の道を進んでいる。
It is also necessary to set goals to feel this way and stay motivated.
keep myself motivated よりも stay motivated がベター
I quit my previous job as a veterinarian because I couldn't find my goals in that field or envision the kind of person I wanted to be in five years.
envision(v) 思い描く
the kind of person こういう感じの人
Secondly, before coming to Canada, I hadn't realized how much I miss my friends or my girlfriend.
どれだけ恋しくなるか気づいていなかった。という意味合いにするには、上記が正しい。
During my working holiday, I was often alone.
Of course, I made friends, but they eventually left and returned to their home countries.
I made friends. 友達ができた
eventually, やがて、結局
Eventually, I realized at this age that I enjoy being around people.
人が好き→人と一緒にいるのが好き。I enjoy being around people.
この歳になって、→at this age は原文通りで正解！
Friends, my family and the people around me are crucial to my happiness.
the people surrounding me. 私を取り囲む人々
→おかしい。
the people around me. 私の周りの人々
→正しい！
What is your priority?
I believe that setting priorities is the most important thing in life.
基本的に、
the + 形容詞の最上級 (+名詞) で使われる
副詞句の場合は、theをつけてもつけなくても良い。
She can play tennis (the) best of all.
If you want to improve your life, you must take it seriously.
make your life better は文法的には正しいが、improve your lifeの方が自然な表現。
My thoughts are based on my past reflections.
Whether it was losing a large sum of money due to a wrong decision that led me into financial trouble.
a huge money よりも a large sum of money の方が適切な表現。
〜につながる、〜に導く の leadをうまく使うこと
a wrong decision that led me into financial trouble 金銭問題につながる大きな間違った決断
Or working so hard that it affected other aspects of my life.
so ~ that 構文
とても一生懸命働くことで、自分の人生の他の側面に対して影響を与える。
→文脈は本来の意味と違うので変えます。↓
Or working too much has hurt my life.
My priority is to make myself and the people around me happy.
Being alone made me happy to a certain extent, but being with my friends takes my happiness to new heights.
1人でいること Being alone
a certain extent ある程度
to new heights 新しい高さ(もっと高いところに)
